Being a parent is overwhelming in the best of circumstances. As a parent we are shaping a person, teaching that person how to live in a world that at its best is confusing and challenging. Everything you do impacts him. I would encourage you to reach out and find a supportive group so you can be the person you obviously want to be, someone who is strong and can make a good life for yourself … and for him. He will grow up, God willing, and one day you will realize he is the best thing that ever happened to you. Give yourself the gift of a future that has someone who loves you completely. Respects you completely. Honors you completely. He very well could have saved your life.